While Facebook posts number in the millions daily, they really boil down to only 12 different posts repeated over and over again. You’ve probably seen these posts before, or maybe been guilty of them yourself.  Here they are again, so you can recognize them when you see them!

The False Pride Post – The Facebook tendency to seek praise for yourself for the accomplishments of somebody else. “I’m so proud of my spouse for finishing that doctorate in molecular biology. She worked so hard.  I can’t believe we finished. Thank you all for your support.”  What exactly did you do?

The Humble Bragging Post – The effort to make a seemingly mundane comment that weakly camouflages the not so subtle statement that you really want to convey. “Just finished the most interesting book on the French Revolution. Fascinating period of history. Can’t wait to take in the sights after we leave this café.” Real meaning – “I’m in Paris, France.”

The Intellectual Pretense Prefaced by Humor Post – Posting some obscure reference, book review, or quote that no one possibly understands with the preface “I thought this was pretty funny.”

The My Alternative Life Rocks Post – “Hey guys, I just took this online quiz that says I would be a Level 12 Wizard Lord in this other realm. Awesome.” You do know that’s not real, right?

The My Kid is A Genius Post – “Here are pictures of my kid reading his favorite book. #babygenius” Does anyone ever post a picture of their kid watching TV with the tagline “#failure.” You get the point.

The Public-Private Declaration – “My Dearest Love. It was twelve years ago today that our eyes met across the dance floor and we fell in love. Only with you can I share my deepest secrets and most passionate kisses.” Only with you and everyone else who just read it on Facebook! Why post this stuff here? A pen and paper is much more personal, unless you are really just in it to see how many “likes” you can get.

The Unsolicited Life-Coach Post – “Life is like a bridge. You can only cross it once.” I have no idea what that means or why you felt compelled to share that. I usually assume you are facing some crisis in your life.

The My Life Rocks Post – “Just aced my exam and won a new Porche in a raffle. Can’t wait to drive it when we get back from Paris. Life is good.”   Awesome for you. Why do you feel a need to share this? What does that really say about your life?

The Herald Post – The effort to be the first to announce some major piece of news. “The Russians just invaded Ukraine.”  If I have to rely on Facebook for breaking news, I’m in trouble.

The Single-Word Strike Post – “This.”  One word only, as an enticement to click on the link.  I have one word for you.  No.

The Stuttering Start Post – “Um,well, ….” With modern technology, you actually can control what you type!  No need to fill the silence before your fingers hit the keys.

The Curmudgeon Post – The attempt to seem witty and clever by making fun of other people on Facebook. See above.