“You should take Latin.” I have bombarded every student on every campus I have ever taught at with this phrase. So much so that normally students see me coming and instead of running away turn to meet me and see how long it takes for me to turn any conversation into an apologia for the Latin language. They think they are impervious to my wiles. They think they wont be the ones to give in. But they are wrong. Eventually many relent. Ultimately it’s the one who put up the biggest fight up front that tap out first. But what is my secret? How do I persuade? What follows is a written form of my most common tactics to the common accusations that Latin is useless because it is a dead language.